i hate HoLiDaYz...

I hate HoLiDaYz...

1) I couldn’t get out of d house on my own…everywhere I go…my parents will follow me around…like I’m a 6 yrs old kid…

2) I don’t get to hang out wif my frens…bcoz my parents won’t allow it…unless they can join us and sit together wif us…of which will take out all d fun of hanging out wif frens…no wonder I’ll be an antisocial girl when it comes to holidayz…

3) D broadband internet connection would be soooo damn slow…so I won’t be able to connect to d world outside…I can’t chat wif my frens or download new songs…it doesn’t make sense at all…living at the heart of d city…KL…and still hve a slow internet connection…

4) I won’t be able to take a morning walk as usual…I won’t be able to look at the sunrise…

5) I’ll be trapped inside my room all day…

6) I hve nothing to do…I don’t even hve d chance to do some cleaning in d house…bcoz my home is like a store…

7) I won’t be able to be myself…I can’t sing…can’t exercise freely…can’t laugh much…and will just keep quiet and be serious for d rest of d holidays…

8) I won’t be able to express myself or give any opinion on things…bcoz…my mom will do all d talking…we’ll just hve to hear it out until we lost our insanity…

9) I can’t plan abt anything at all…all d schedule throughout d holiday must follow my parents schedule…well…dat mkes sense…bcoz they won’t allow me to go out on my own…so if I wanna do anything outside…I’ll hve to “fit into” their schedule…which makes me feel old…really old…bcoz I will be trapped in d hse…and dat mkes me feel more sick…

10) I will be more depressed…so…no surprise if one day u hear a news abt me committing suicide…bcoz even now…I talk abt death like almost all d time…d councellor dat I went to see…dat is a useless effort I say…not helping at all…she won’t be wif me when I need her…well…why would she?…I’m just a total stranger asking for her help after all…

11) I can't do my religious duty peacefully…I dunno why…it seems weird for me to read d Quran when I’m at home…it feels even weird if I do extra prayers…solat sunat and all…and on top of anything…I’ll be condemned abt how I dressed up…can’t wear jubah wif tudung labuh…or even just tudung labuh...(unless if its ramadhan)…hrrmmm…no wonder I always feel like I want to give up trying…and just be a modern person…focus only on d worldly matters…terlalu bnyk dugaan utk nk jdi baek…and most of dat cme from my own family…

12) i also hate holidays for d reason dat even if my family and i go for a vacation...i can't choose where i wanna visit...so i find vacation quite stressful at times...

13) I hate holidayz d most…bcoz I feel lonely every seconds, every mins, every hours, days, weeks and months…and even years…bcoz I’m not dat close to my family…we r a family…but we don’t feel connected at all…


well...after much thinking…maybe all of this are not d reason of why I hate holidays…but this are more to the reasons why I hate my HoMe…my home is UIA and …I don’t wanna go back to my house!!!…end of story…=(


p/s: how am i gonna survive living at home for d next 4 months bcoz of my practical training???...hrrrmmm...