Wednesday, June 29, 2011

29th June 2011

I spend a quarter of my life seeking for someone dat can make me happy…but i only find more disappointments and sadness….i regret it…I should hve seek for You, Ya Allah… rite from d start…for only You understand all d pain dat I hve went through…for only You will be wif me…at all times…

but…now…pls gve me strength to go on…bcoz I can stop myself from ‘giving up’…and I know I shouldn’t gve up on d life dat u’ve given me…show me a way…and show me ways…on how to be contented and be happy again…I already forget what it feels like to hve a true smile…

Even I cannot be a good pretender anymore…d sadness starts to become more apparent than before…bcoz I forgot dis one fact dat…others can see it through…just by looking at my eyes…how long can I pretend to be happy when I’m not?...how long can I smile in front of others…and crying like mad when they are not around…

I did not blame You, Ya Allah…for I know…there must be a reason why You arranged all of dis for me…

But…I begged You, Ya Allah…pls send me an angel…dat can make me feel happy again…dat can teach me how to smile again…for I am tired of living dis way…